"Enjoy Them!" ...but...."I'm Glad Mine Are in College"

Much of this blog,  MOST of this blog is related to my adventures in Motherhood and my childrens' adventures.  There are many blogs out there devoted to the whole topic of Motherhood, advice for mothers, inspiration for mothers, etc.  This post, is about an honest experience of Motherhood from my own life.  While I'm not the most eloquent writer, I hope this post helps to show the tug-of-war that many mothers experience, at all stages of motherhood.


We were at church one night.  We ran into several friends that we had not seen in awhile.
Among those friends were two "veteran moms" (moms with kids in college, moms who have successfully raised their children to be independent adults) that I greatly respect and admire.  Their kids are awesome individuals and they have good relationships with their kids.

One of those "veteran moms" has two daughters.  Both have graduated college.  One is engaged.  Her girls are out of the house; living independent lives.  She misses them.
So as we were talking she said to me, "Ah!  They [Landon and Jillian] are soooo cute!  Enjoy them!  Enjoy them while they are little, while they are in your house, while you can hug and hold them.  Enjoy them!"  Yes, yes, thank you for the compliments.  My kids are very cute.  In fact, quite adorable.  And yes, thank you for reminding me to enjoy them!  In the midst of everyday-motherhood it is easy to get caught up in the to-do lists and bad-behavior and the busy-ness.  And I appreciate every reminder from veteran moms to remember to ENJOY my children, as it really is easy to forget.  I don't want to get to their graduation day, or their wedding day and think, "They're not little anymore, and I missed out on all the fun and innocence of their childhoods."  Or say to myself, "No one ever told me .........to enjoy them, that I'd miss them, that they grow up quickly."
However, I will also say that these comments put a level of pressure on me.  I feel pressured to "soak it all up."  To be a happy mom, a mom who finds joy in EVERYTHING in raising children.....even dirty diapers.  Honestly, somedays, many days, it's really frickin' difficult to enjoy it all, to enjoy anything at all!  Being hit, pushed, kicked, thrown up on.  Doing repeated finger-sweeps to get chunks of food out of your choking toddlers' throat.  Complete meltdowns over being told to go to the bathroom.  Believe me, I could make a list a mile-long of the things I find difficult to enjoy, and am betting I won't wish to have back.
But as all Veteran moms seem to know, rookie moms do need to be reminded to enjoy the things you can, and have a sense of humor about the things you can't really enjoy.  As I said, it's easy to get caught up in all the un-enjoyable things and Veteran moms seem to know this very well.


While talking to another "veteran mom" she said, "Oh, I just love seeing all your posts on facebook!  But I have to say, when I see your photos and hear your stories, I'm glad mine are in college."  
What?!  Seriously?!  From a lady who works with preschoolers......two-year-olds at that!  My impression was -- this lady loves kids!  Loves them so much she teaches potty-training-tantrum-throwing-two-year-olds!  Whenever I see her it seems she's taking such delight in kids and teenagers.  You can tell she loves her kids and enjoys being a mom.  Did she seriously just say to me, "I'm glad mine are in college"?  And did she really just say that after seeing photos and stories of MY kids?!
I was not appalled by her comment; simply surprised and caught off guard.  Most people whose kids have graduated from the house, tell me to "enjoy it!"  I think I was most caught off guard by the fact that someone was honest without "rose-colored glasses" about parenting.  In her comment to me, she legitimized my exhaustion, my sense of being overwhelmed; especially knowing that it came from such an amazing lady and mother.  AND, knowing that she was thankful that her kids were past the point of complete dependence, made me feel better about my desires to get my kids to that point too!

In my "rookie mom" years (after all, I've only been a mom for a little more than 3 years), I feel like I'm constantly looking for guidance, inspiration, and definitions for this role of parent.  I often reflect back on this night at church, where the message I was left with was "Enjoy them......but....... I'm glad mine are in college."  A reminder to enjoy this time, but also, that it's okay to look forward to the day they have left my house.

In case you're looking for some inspiration in your parenting-journey, 
I happen to LOVE these two blogs. 
 Clover Lane  and  Finding Joy

Good luck to all fellow Rookie Moms.

To all Veteran Moms ---- come babysit my kids anytime you have a yearning to enjoy little ones.

Some Glimpses of Nanalis & Pops' House

My parents take care of the kids when I work, 3 afternoons a week.  

The pictures below are from a weekend the kids spent at Nanalis and Pops' house.  So many adventures at their house!

A snake (supposedly non-poisonous) crawling on the side of the house.  Landon and Jillian looking at it through the window.  When my mom gave me her pictures to load onto my computer, this was the first picture I saw.  She had convienently neglected to tell me about the snake incident during their weekend stay.

Landon no longer on the inside of the house.  

The snake now crawling UP the window.

These are the horses in the neighbors' pasture.  

Jillian LOVES to see the horses. 

 She also loves to climb the fence.

A little tree in the backyard they like to climb.  

She's so stinkin' pretty!!  

*proud Mama*

Digging in the garden and in his own tub o' dirt.  

hmmmmm........any guesses as to why she's crying?!

Brother and sister.  Typical facial expressions for both.  

Always dressed in playclothes (aka "redneck clothes") because of the dirt and adventures.

Lunch at their little table outside.  Don't you dare have Landon sit in the yellow chair, or Jillian sit in the blue chair.  

They are a bit territorial about their chairs.  

And then there's Maizy!  Jillian loves Maizy and Maizy loves Jillian.  

Maizy has loved her since the first day we brought Jillian over.  However, Landon has made Maizy nervous since the first day we brought him over.  

Dogs have a 6th sense about things they say.  ;)

To Remember #9

1.  Jillian loves Elmo.  She likes singing, "la la la Meeeeeeelmoooo Wooooooorrrrrrrld,"  However, this annoys Landon to no end. And she knows it. So she sings it often.  Most often after he has done something to annoy her. For instance: she said she saw a "horsee" and Landon told her it was a pony.  Then they went back and forth with "horsee! - pony! - horsee! - pony!"  After she let him have the last word, she paused, and then began singing "Melmo World." I find it quite funny.  We have a rule that she can't sing it in the car.  When she starts singing it and I remind her of the rule she says, "But I just want to sing Melmo!" as if she's so innocent about it all.
2.  Jillian kisses her own boo boos.  She also kisses babies in picture books.
3.  Landon gets upset when I don't let him see the poop in Jillian's diapers.
4.  Landon thinks eating out in restaurants is the BEST THING EVER.  I have to admit, I do too.
5.  Jillian has finally warmed up to her Daddy.  It's only taken a year-and-a-half for her initiate hugs and kisses with him.
6.  Jillian really likes elephants and horses.  "Elly's" and "horseeeeeees."
7.  Landon always wants to know who the Deacon is when we go to Mass.  And when I tell him "Deacon Kevin or Deacon Bob" etc. he always says, "Stinkin' Kevin?! Stinkin' Bob?!"  Ongoing inside joke from quite sometime ago!
8.  When I pointed to the priest a few weeks ago and said, "That's Father Roberto" Landon said, "Is that Uncle Arthur's brother?"  And in all honesty, I think they do resemble each other.  It's just funny that a 3 year old noticed too.
9.  Landon told my mom, "I help Jillian make good choices!  [pause] I also help her make bad choices."  True story.
10.  Landon has memorized our address, Josh's phone number, four prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Guardian Angel Prayer), and one scripture verse (Luke 10:27).  He's pretty stellar at memorization.

A Few of my Favorite Things....about my kids

Just wanted to write a few quick thoughts on my favorite things about my kids.....

:: Landon ::

He's so full of joy!  It's really hard to be in a bad mood when you hang out with this kid.

He's got a natural inclination to protect.  So much so that he gets upset when we reprimand Jillian with a firm or raised voice. 

He is full of self confidence without being arrogant and without an ego.

He's pretty willing to try just about anything and has fun while he tries.

:: Jillian ::

She's an observer.  You can see her watching, analyzing, and thinking where ever she is.

Once she sets her mind to something it's virtually impossible to change her mind.

She takes calculated risks.

She loves, loves, loves babies.

Taking a moment to write these things up, to focus on a few character traits, reminds me of one of my favorite quotes about parenting.....you can find it here.

I love discovering my kids.  What makes them tick.  What their strengths and weaknesses are.  What their talents are.  What makes them an amazingly unique image of an infinite God.

Yes, he threw a tantrum about THIS!

My brother Jared has a gift.
A gift of persuading and convincing people that certain ideas are not just good ideas but brilliant ideas.
This gift was often the instigator that got his friends into trouble in high school; mind you, it rarely got him into the trouble as well.
He likes to use this gift of persuasion for his own entertainment --- what can he convince someone else to do?  And not only what can he convince them to do, but what can he convince them is, in fact, a brilliant idea?

Jared also uses this gift on his own niece and nephew (my children) (although Jillian is much harder to "sell" the ideas to).  And Jared's gift worked like a charm on Landon one day......so much so that he threw a total, meltdown-tantrum about THIS.......

Yes.  That's poop, dog poop, on the shovel.

Check out those facial expressions.

Landon = "Yes indeedy!  I'm shoveling poop!  Stinky, smelly, dog poop!  I'm the luckiest three-year-old around.  And to think, my daddy almost made me go home before I had the chance to do this job!  Thanks Uncle Jared for letting me do this job for you."

Jillian = "Whhaaaaaaatttt?????  Poop?  THAT is what you're so excited about?  THAT is what the fuss was all about?  Ugh. Gross.  You're dumb."

Look at the care and attention he takes in carrying it.

Oh boy!  Found another pile!

About to throw it over the fence.  

In attendance of this wonderous job -- 

Rocky - the dog who's too dumb to poop in the woods

Jillian - who's still trying to figure out what's so great about this

Oh Yeah!!  Job well done.  

Thank you Uncle Jared, for convincing him that poop shoveling is an awesome job.  Just remember that your children will be younger than mine, and Jillian is much more like you and I than Landon is, when it comes to manipulation..........and that Landon's other Uncle is Bear, who eats ants and grubs.  We'll see who convinces who to do what in ten years.  *mwahahahahaha* (evil laugh sound)

My Favorite Things About Potty Training

This is a simple post......

1. Less diapers to change.  Which leads to less trash to take out.  Which leads to a better smelling house.
2. M&Ms are in the house.  And since they don't get M&Ms often, they're happy with ONE M&M as a reward......so as long as I can use self control a one-pound bag will last us awhile.
3. Both 1 & 2 save money.  

Beach Trip -- a late posting

Back in the early part of June we went on a week long beach vacation.  It was a giant family vacation.  The house had 6 bedrooms, 2 kitchens, huge porches, and a private board walk to the beach.  The furnishings of the house reminded me a lot of the church-retreat camps we would go to with our high school youth group, but the amount of space the house offered was awesome!  Four generations of Sparwaths (my mom's family) were under one roof.  So crazy and so fun!

Jillian thought it was funny to wear my Nana's hat.

She didn't like sitting in the sand, so she sat in beach chairs or squatted most of the week.

Landon and Josh building a sand castle.  I cannot even explain the amount of self control it took for Landon to wait ALL day to crash/wreck/smash it.  

This is one of those pictures that it's not until you load it on the computer do you see what you really photographed......the positioning makes it look like Jillian is kissing Josh's butt.

My brother attempted to braid my twelve-year-old cousin's hair.

The beach set-up.  

Jillian LOVES water, but was sooooo nervous about the waves, that this is the closest she got all week.....on the last day!

The crazy-spacious camp-like house.  The porches were so great.  So much room for the kids to run and be loud, without getting all sandy or bothering the rest of the family.

My parents' dog Maizy came.  She gets so anxious when she's away from home that she can't eat.  Jillian was the only person who could get her to eat all week.

Family boat ride!  Oh....making memories......  We're on one boat, the rest of the family is on the boat in the background.

The other boat got stuck in very, very, very shallow waters.  My brother and Uncle hopped out and had to push it off the bottom, to deeper waters where it was safer to use the motor. 

Ooooohhhhhh, the memories.

Tradition has it that we build forts on the beach 

and have a water balloon fight.  

Boys vs. Girls

This year, instead of forts, the boys made trenches about 5 feet deep.  

Sparwath family dance party, glow-stick-bracelets and all.  

This picture doesn't do justice to the dance moves this kid has.

The view from the house.  

Giant house. Fourteen people and two toddlers. One dog.

Three people and one dog from a condo down the street (more family).

Lots and lots of memories!