Things I Didn't Expect to Say

In the last two days I've said some things I never expected to say to my children -

1. Don't lick the deck!  >>>>  He spilled some water on the deck and decided to lick it up.
2. Don't eat the wall!  >>>>>  Our basement is unfinished and some of the dry wall is torn on the edge.  He decided to attempt to eat from the torn side.